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We Become Vulgar (2011)
Heartbreak is always the same
The sunlight peeks through cracks
In that stone wall made around the heart
That hated joy that could inspire want
And curiosity, no desire, moves us
Makes us do the dumb thing
Falling for the other
That possibly doesn’t even know our name
Out of desperation and fear of rejection
Out of the longing
We become what we are not
We become vulgar
We become vain
We become insecure
We become weak
We become wanting
And our wanting becomes us
Until it happens again
The sun flees and leaves only cold darkness
Lingering lecturing shadows and pain
And unneeded sacrifices
We disintegrate into less than we were
At the start of this
You have made us less than we were
At the start of this
I want to go back to the start of this -
Strange Desire (2010)
These sensations, what are they
Really
What do they portend
I fell at the same time
As I began to feel
This strange desire
Which does aspire
To arrest my will
And fulfill
Some weird prophecy
No so much dark or light
Than strange and unseen
Like waking up to
A thunderstorm in your room
The room is dark
Or I am blind
As I walk into a Fate’s arms. -
Meaning Not Lies (2009)
Our words mean nothing
Rewritten rehashed reterritorialized
What are we trying to say
With the words of another?
Words that have a billion compartments
Words with in words meanings in meanings
Our tongues are angry determined hamsters
But I want to go some where other than circles
We have to rock the cage
Shake the bolts lose
Unnook the nooks
Stuff and unfluff
To breathe like souls do
Honestly and willfully
Like lovers under covers
Reveling in the other
Not like strangers on the street.
Say some thing that means some thing. -
Perfide (2010)
For some strange reason we can’t talk about much
“How are (or appropriate verb tense) you (or appropriate object)?”
Has become the formula for our conversations
Some kind of sadistic non-human formula
Has replaced heartfelt conversation
Not really a distance between you and me
But a distance between my heart and yours
Words I dare not utter for fear of reprisal
Somehow I am becoming your enemy, perhaps the enemy of everything
We ever loved and stop for
Under this heavy sun I sag in full plate armor
Sword to earth filled to bear
Would it be such a sin to say I do not wish to carry on?
To say I wish to rest or be free
Somehow my truest love is becoming my unfairest desire
My heart becoming a warped, unjust lyre
Regardless this much is true
And I shan’t have a thing left to say to you
But I’ll always want to know
How you are -
Chessboard (2010)
Like riding a rocket with a helmet
I’m safe yet reckless
Maybe watched over by the gods
(Who do still walk among us)
Or perhaps just smart enough
To know when to strap in
And when to jump fly flee
Take a leap of faith
But I keep my halo nearby
In my back pocket actually
For when I need to prove
I’m on of the good guys
So I leap and land
Usually safely sometimes harshly
Always a show a sight a spectacle
And for now I’m on a chess board
Metal and granite
Still the element earth
I could swear I know the person
Across the table from me
Like sleeping with the enemy
Or the enemy sleeping with me
Just to see if I’m worth the glove
That I’m about to get slapped with
So now I’m challenged and charging
And leaping into the fray
I wonder who will win
Me or my subverting desire?
